This week, I wrote a satirical piece for CNN explaining the real reasons for the Trump administration’s new tariffs on Canada.
The stated reasons? The Canadian government allegedly provides unfair subsidies to Canadian lumber firms like West Fraser Mills and Canfor Corp.
Also: Milk.
As Trump tweeted, “Canada has made business for our dairy farmers in Wisconsin and other border states very difficult. We will not stand for this. Watch!”
Now for the real reasons…
In short, he retaliated because of three specific threats to his masculinity: Justin Trudeau’s handshake, Samantha Bee’s insults, and Canada’s superior lumberjacks.