By Joe Registrato, AliveTampaBay Contributing Editor
School Teacher Ms. Barnes: “Now students, let’s please settle down. I know this isn’t going to be your favorite lesson, but it’s one we must have. It’s on the role of government in preventing violence.”
Donald: (Standing up, waving his arms). “Teacher, teacher, I know more about preventing violence than the generals. Believe me. We need to do more stop and frisk. When I’m president, that’s what I’m going to do.”
Ms. Barnes: “Everybody’s going to get a turn, Donald. Please wait until you’re called on.”
Donald: “The other kids are tired of your one-person-at-a time rule. They want me.”
Three or four other children (standing up): “Yeah, we’re for letting Donald make fun of stuff. It’s funny.”
Donald: “See? They love me! More stop and frisk is what we need.” (Jabbing the air with his fingers). “I know more about this than the generals. Believe me.” (More children laugh hysterically).
Ms. Barnes: “Hillary, I see you have your hand raised. Is there something you’d like to say?”
Hillary: “Yes, thank you. The Supreme Court has ruled that the states are supposed to make and enforce their own laws, but those laws must conform with constitutional principles laid down by the Court. I don’t think the President or the federal government have any place interfering with state law enforcement measures.”
Ms. Barnes: “So Hillary thinks…”
More children, emboldened by the first group, stand up: “Boo, boring! Lock her up! She’s boring. Yeah, lock her up.” (Laughing and giving each other high fives).
Donald: “Ms. Barnes, why don’t you tell that ugly girl to sit down. What does she know? In the old days, girls stayed home and cleaned the bathroom. I don’t know what idiot decided they ought to be able to vote, never mind run for office or drive cars. You see women driving cars? They’re always putting on make-up and squinting into the rear view while their driving!!”
Other Children: Laughing as they squint at each other and act like they’re applying eye make-up.
Donald: “Why don’t you make yourself useful and send that ugly girl to the clean the bathroom. I know more about this than the generals. Believe me.”
Other children: “Send her to the bathroom, yeah. He knows more than the generals!!” (Slap thighs, laugh out loud.)
Ms. Barnes: “Now Donald, there will be no more insults in class or I’ll have to send you to the principal’s office.”
Donald: “Send me to the principal? I’ve promised him a job as secretary of something or other. I’ve already taken care of him.”
Ms. Barnes: “I see that Hillary has her hand up again. Do you have something else to say?”
Hillary: “Yes, thank you. State law enforcement officers already have the authority and routinely engage in ‘stop and frisk,’ of certain suspects. These arrests are called Terry Stops and follow the rules laid down in a United States Supreme Court decision called Terry v. Ohio. What Donald is talking about is a much more aggressive ‘stop and frisk’ procedure that was tried in New York and was ruled unconstitutional by a federal judge because it targeted blacks and other minorities. So it’s not practiced in New York anymore.”
Donald: “Oh, yeah? I’ll fire that judge on my first day in office.”
Other children: “Yeah, fire that judge. Who needs judges?”
Hillary: “Excuse me, Ms. Barnes, but Donald ought to know that federal judges are appointed for life under the Constitution and can’t be fired because the president or anybody else for that matter, doesn’t like their decisions.”
Donald: “What? Can’t fire judges? I’ll change that rule on my first day!”
Hillary: “It’s in the constitution, Donald. You can’t change the constitution without an amendment proposed either by the Congress with a two-thirds majority vote in both the House of Representatives and the Senate or by a constitutional convention called for by two-thirds of the State legislatures.”
Donald: “Those Senators will vote my way or I’ll fire them, too.”
Hillary: “Sorry, Donald, even if you get elected you can’t fire senators or congressmen. They’re in a different branch of government.”
Donald: “What does she know? She makes it sound like the President can’t do anything. She’s crazy. When I’m president I’ll have the atomic bomb and then I’ll do whatever I want.”
Ms. Barnes: “Hillary, do you have anything to say about the president having the atomic bomb?”
Hillary: “Yes, I do. God help us.”
Joseph J. Registrato is a journalist and lawyer. He was a news reporter, assistant city editor, city editor and assistant managing editor of The Tampa Tribune from 1971 to 1987. After graduation from Stetson College of Law, he was admitted to the Florida Bar in 1989, and was an assistant state attorney with the Hillsborough County State Attorney’s Office from 1989 through 1991. He was in the private practice of law for more than twenty years in the areas of family law, criminal defense and appellate practice. He is now an assistant public defender at the Hillsborough County Public Defender’s Office of Julianne Holt. He is a U. S. Marine Corps veteran and served in the conflict in the Republic of Vietnam in 1968-1969. Registrato is a contributing editor of AliveTampaBay.com.